new direction.

sometimes i think i know the roads i know too well.
i would quite like to find some new paths.
like the cute little windy ones when you're not sure where they'll lead. that might be fun.

blurry.

sometimes, things can be so beautiful when they are blurry. they can leave you feeling giddy with excitement of the unknown.
a blurry photo can represent a crystal clear moment that no one else would ever be able to grasp. the sunset behind the horizon could be anywhere. i know it's not.

but with blurriness there is no understanding, just a sort of teasing. and i don't know about you but to not understand something is the epitome of frustration. not in a 'i'm-being-nosy' way but in a way where to contemplate the situation makes your heart beat a bit faster. whether it's anger, sadness or bitterness.

right now, everything is blurry, it doesn't make sense. not really.
but somewhere, somehow i need to, for my own sake, find some beauty in the blurry.

i hope you feel no more pain & you have found who you are again, wherever you are right now. i miss you everyday.

forever young.

peace. calm. tranquil.
this photo is the complete opposite of any of the above words considering the night before.
but somehow its stillness amazes me. i don't know, maybe i'm going a little loony.
i feel like writing but i'm not sure what - currently watching south park in my living room with an essay only one CTRL + TAB press away. that is obviously why i feel like writing.

i'm fed up of talking about university, it is summer term & no one can make their mind up if time should be doubling up its pace in order for summer to be here or if it should slow the fuck down so nothing seems so rushed.
all i have is hope. fingers crossed.
it's just that everything seems to be plodding on almost timelessly.
i just quite fancy something a little extraordinary. silly things.

but it'll come. everyone keep remembering that!
as long as i have my cup of tea and my music in the morning, the day will never be too bad.

two weeks...but who's counting?!

don't worry. be happy.

that's my jewellery. most of it i wear all the time. i like it & it got me thinking.

jewellery is fun; it can make us happy.
the brighter the bracelets, the bigger the smile. or so it seems.
this can't be the fundamental source of being happy though.
so i guess my question is, what constitutes happiness?

this feeling or emotion that people are constantly striving to discover is something so subjective in oneself that one person's happiness could in fact be another person's downfall. don't search for it because chances are it's right in front of you & we all know that you miss what's right in front of your nose.
don't think too much; often an error in many people's thoughts. it'll screw you over. that whirlwind of random words in your mind that don't form sentences but just stick around. yeh, the thinking bit is overrated but make sure that whatever you think, you say. it'll feel better. you never know, someone may thank you for it.
don't just say what you think, talk about it.
talk long, talk deep, talk now and understand.
but of all of it, do laugh!
laugh until your stomach hurts, laugh until you can see the tears in your eyes & everything else seems flooded in that laughter.
you'll soon find that with that laughter comes a smile right back at you.
through that smile opposite you will find a person responsible for the happiness you feel in that moment <3>never let that person go. i didn't!

over & out.

do you want to go to the seaside?

the sun seems to put a smile on your face, no matter how you're feeling.

and on the beach, there are no worries.

just like sun soaking up the dampness on the streets, it evaporates any inkling that life isn't just perfect.

"find a real friend today by being able to answer the question,

'how are you?'

with complete honesty. because sometimes, you might find you're not 'okay'.

peace. xk

stargaze.

tonight i walked home. 2am through a grass square surrounded by trees. a single lampost stood lonely, completely in the middle. although i couldn't see the stars, they were there. just behind the twilight sky of apparent nothingness. my hood pulled loosely over my head managed to obstruct my usual awareness and peripheral vision but in that moment it didn't matter. looking directly ahead was my only option.

and that's it.

don't worry about what happened; what is already behind you.

and don't worry about that distant future you can't see yet; it's there.

but most of all, those stars. they're in you, however much you might doubt it sometimes.

they're around you. in those peeps we call friends that brighten up your day with the smallest things.

maybe you can't always see them and maybe you won't always be able to feel them.

tonight i did and it was wonderful! believe it.

and that's what i thought about as my expression broke into a smile as i got to my front door :)

goodnight world.